- Are you ALL IN?
- Are you living the life of your dreams?
- Do you like what you see in the mirror?
- Are you happy and excited to wake up?
- Do you like your work?
- Do opportunities pass you by?
- Do you purposely remain small so as not to face fear or ridicule?
- Are you open and available, physically, mentally and emotionally?
- Does your life have purpose and meaning?
If you answered yes to some or no to others, Congratulations, you are human and an ever evolving, always progressing journey of growth. The end game is death, so the journey is where we want to look in order to live your life on your terms.
You see, I recently found out, I was not living my dream life, completely. I thought I was: running a business, living with purpose and stepping into my confidence after losing my 2 best friends.
I have this ability to relate to people and meet them where they are at, understand and work to help them get ‘un-stuck.’ For years, I would help my family, my students, my friends and be overly available, to my own detriment.
Working out and the physical part of learning myself, came very naturally to me. So did talking to people about what they were going through and helping them get out of pain or whatever they needed at the time.
A few years back, My mom had a heart valve replaced and within 3 months, she had diverticulitis, and needed part of her intestines removed. During that year, my sister and I calculated we spent upwards of 6 weeks in the hospital with our mom.
I would go to work, train everyone and then go to the hospital, and when she got home from the hospital, my sister and I cared for her. Sister in the morning, while I worked and me in the evening, while she worked.
We absolutely did not think one bit about it. This was our mom, and we were going to help her as she would have us.
She lost her job during this time (the company dissolved her job as a technicality) and she is unable to work and still waiting for disability, 3 years later (if you know a good lawyer who can help…)
During this time is also when I started my business and so, I thought I was jumping ALL in…Helping Mom, Starting a Business…all good right?
Yes, I was in…but
No, I was shutting certain emotions down to get through the day…
Afraid of becoming who I wanted to be personally and professionally…
But thinking I was becoming that person…
I had no idea I was hiding…
I’d wear superhero T-Shirts, to deflect from me and make things light and fun. All the while, inside, things were heavy and laden with friction. This internal viscosity, if you will, would surface at times where intuitively, I would want to be fun, open and available but come off as focused, direct and elusive.
All caused by my heart wanting to move forward and share my self with the world, while my ‘inner voice’ was telling me: be afraid, you are not worthy, you’ll never make it, you suck, everyone needs you etc…
And so I controlled every aspect I could, which kept me more stuck.
It wasn’t until recently, where I was forced to come to grips with the fact that, I needed to get ‘un-stuck’ myself.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve had to take some personal time and start unraveling these inner sticking points, and I’m realizing, we all have had experiences that have caused us emotional, physical and mental pain, which creates trauma and that trauma, directs your emotions sub-consciously.
So in that moment where, you want to say yes and ‘Go ALL In…’
Your sub-conscious says ‘No, No…remember all that crap you went through before? We’re going to protect you from that shit, we don’t like being open and vulnerable. We prefer closed off and simple. It’s less painful. ”
Problem being: If you ever want to grow as a human being and live to your fullest potential, you have to be willing to step outside the comfort zone, get real with yourself inside and out and put in the work to change.
And let’s be clear, it’s habits and behaviors we are changing. And those don’t change unless you know what’s driving them.
For me, my fear of success was holding me back in business and my fear of love in my personal life.
It’s easier to believe we are not worthwhile, then face the fact that we are. Because that realness, requires us to be open to pain as much as happiness.
You cannot numb pain without numbing joy and so, the complexity of emotions can really drive you if you let them
The next time you’re asked or have an opportunity to step up and you feel that twinge pulling you back…..examine it, understand why.
Everything is not about our parents, but that is how we developed, under there guidance and so, look at the patterns you created as a kid and are you perpetuating them now?
Before I get the ‘John you are not a psychology teacher’ emails, please understand that, unless your fears and motivations are understood, you are most likely fighting yourself in the gym, not getting the results you want, because your fears are sabotaging you, holding you back.
You may not be living up to your dream….you may be living someone else’s.
And so, if I expect people to follow my advice, I need to continue being someone who practices what he preaches and leads from the front, with action.
I am moving this weekend into my own place, near my studio and stepping up to the plate, wide open. I am jumping full speed into my life, hair on fire, no safety net and shooting for the moon. I’m going down swinging.
I understand it’s impossible to do that always, and that eventually, life balances out. But if you’re not willing to jump into your own life and live on your terms…will you ever be?
Safe is no longer a way I want to live. For those who understand the law of attraction, I am telling the universe I want more and I’m willing to go ALL – IN to get it.
Fortune favors the bold and when you’re ready for the next step of your journey, it’s ready for you!
Please reply and let me know if we can ‘un-stick’ something for you and get you those results you’ve been working for!