Hopefully you read the title and it excited you a little and got your hopes up. Good, read on. I’d like to clarify that I can’t give you motivation, or inspire you if you don’t want it, or even give you a reason why. I can help you unlock those answers for yourself by helping you be more aware, instead of living on auto-pilot.
Being aware can lead to a positive and creative habit loop while being unaware can lead to a negative and destructive habit loop. Our brains largely run off of habit loops in the sub-conscious. You know: Somebody cut you off, you yell out the window and flip them off, then end up pissed off all day. While knowing that you didn’t have to get angry, but did. Conversely, conscious thought is not always easy and it can be hard to be ‘in the moment’.
Without getting too in depth, habit loops have 3 parts. The Cue or Trigger: ‘the asshole who cut you off’, which overrides conscious thought and clicks on the habit to use. Then the Routine: ‘you flipping them off while knowing you shouldn’t’ (routines can be physical, emotional, or mental). Leading to the Reward or Result: ‘being pissed all day ‘ which your brain uses to figure out if this habit is worth remembering. (paraphrasing The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg)
In that example, the habit was more powerful than the conscious thought, which makes you wonder (I hope). You knew you should stop…but kept right on going. Not an example of a positive habit loop.
A quick positive one might be: It’s 6 am (cue) – time to train (routine) – and now I love being naked (reward, because I listened to my trainer). Or, It’s 8am (cue) – Drive safely to work while jamming out (routine) – Get paid well for being more productive because I train before work (reward, for training.)
Motivation doesn’t last, inspiration is always waxing and waning, BUT, if we find your positive reason why and get you to think about it before the habit begins – boom! Start here. I have one question and when you can answer it, you will make progress and have your reason why, which will GIVE you motivation, inspiration and a reason why you should get STRONG(er)!
Ready?
#1 – What is your reason or purpose for living?
Or, said a different way
#2 – Why do you get up in the morning?
Or, maybe even more specific
#3 – Who do you get up for in the morning?
Ok, so it’s 3 slightly different questions that lead to the same answer, sue me…
If you answered: ‘Because…’ or ‘I get up to poop…’ or ‘My mom told me to…’ etc. Then I’m going to ask you to dig a little deeper and be more specific, if you’re ready to seriously get moving. If not…please, stop reading now.
A person without purpose is lost and needs direction. That person can have a hard time and possibly be dangerous if operating from a place of: ‘I am not enough and I live my life trying to fill a hole, emotional or otherwise’ vs ‘I am enough and what I bring to the table is enough…I don’t have to be perfect, I just want to live a meaningful life.’ (paraphrasing Brene Brown)
Most of that direction has to come from within, because nobody can answer questions for you. However, having someone who can objectively coach you through those sticking points to help you see what you couldn’t, is invaluable. You’re no longer just accountable to yourself. Change is hard, and not everyone can do it alone.
The purpose of living is to live with purpose. In order to figure this out, we need to know what makes you tick and if you’re not ticking, then we need to work on that too.
What are you passionate about? Your: animals, family, work, car, house, travel, sex life?
Yes? Good, go with it. Everyone has something to offer and a strength or more to cultivate. All of that can be turned into making money (a necessary problem to conquer) and ultimately living the positive lifestyle you want, on your terms. Not the one you feel like you’re stuck in or the status quo. No, money is not the key to happiness but, building your life around your passion can make you money and that is happy.
No? Then we need to figure out if just working to make money is allowing you to live with purpose and my guess….is no. Here’s the kicker, you have to believe you can do it, or it will never happen. Saying ‘I want to make 1 million a year working 10 hours a week cleaning houses’ isn’t going to happen overnight and you had better be the best cleaner ever. Getting a little realistic may help.
If it’s hard to get up for yourself and there is nobody else in your life, we need to examine your prepositions. If what you’re doing is keeping people away from you or your isolating because you haven’t met the right people, we need to work on that. Humans, even this introverted one, are still social and crave that connection on some level…please stop saying you don’t…. you do. If you need help, get it, please. Find some like-minded people (they’re out there, gotta look) and start networking with them. Surround yourself with people who lift you up to their level, not those who are toxic.