With the recent news that many states that had reopened are now having to shutdown again, it’s easy to allow ourselves to get into a suffering state of mind thinking this thing will never be over, because it creates massive uncertainty.
Suffering occurs when our model of the world (what we think should be happening) doesn’t match the current reality of the world (what is actually happening), and we feel powerless to change it.
The truth, however painful, is that we have a choice in whether or not to continue suffering.
This is the new normal ‘right now’, and the sooner we can embrace that and lean into the discomfort of it, the sooner we can move our minds into that beautiful state where flow happens, and creativity is sparked, so that we can find a way to still maintain and improve our health, without ‘going off the deep end’.
Easier said than done, I know.
I’d be lying if I said I haven’t spent some time in the suffering state during this crisis.
The pandemic is happening, and it’s not going away anytime soon, so what do we do … keep suffering mentally until it’s over?
Unfortunately, many will, and worse, it will lead to the end of the road for those who can’t handle it.
As soon as this started, I wasn’t scared or worried about the virus, as we’ve talked about recently, however, I am TERRIFIED of all the suicides that have, and will continue to happen.
Mental Health is no joke, and I hope people start to understand that NOW.
I know the ins and outs of mental health because I’ve spent MORE hours in therapy in my 38 years, than some people will ever spend exercising their body.
Think about that for a second.
I have more experience with Mental Health, 30+ years, than many Mental Health practitioners have.
Think about that for a minute.
I am as much a Mental Health expert, even without the credential of Psychologist, Therapist or Counselor, than many.
I don’t say that braggadociously either, as I’d never wish that on anyone, and I know to stay in my professional lane.
I’m not a Psychologist, Therapist, or Counselor, I’m a Coach.
The first time I was in therapy was an 8 year old kid, after my parents divorced, which lasted for a year or so, as I recall.
It was so horrible because I thought their divorce was my fault.
At 8, you don’t know better.
Then at 20, I had a pretty significant ‘melt down’ while in College, and went from 240+ lbs to about 179 lbs in just over 2 months of deep depression.
I came home from school and did some therapy, about 6 months, enough to get me working a job again, and functioning.
Things seemed ok.
Then at 25, my brother Tony took his own life, and one year and 22 days later, my cousin Jim lost his life to complications from Muscular Dystrophy.
That was my crossroads moment, the one where I wanted to die, everyday, and couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Fate intervened and I made a conscious decision to live, to face myself by going through the pain (no more masking it), and come out the other side stronger, forged in the fire of my own creation.
I always knew in the back of my mind that I could remove all the pain, if I really wanted to, because I’d seen my brother do it.
In fact, that thought plays permanently in mind when things are tough, like they are now, and I’ll never be rid of it, as my sub-conscious brain knows it’s always an option.
It’s a daily fight.
That particular stint in therapy, I went every week, sometimes twice a week, for the better part of 2 years.
After that, I worked a job for 3 years, the longest I had ever been in a job.
I got back into the gym like when I was playing football in High School, and found my true purpose: Changing the way Life was done, by Changing how my life was done.
That led me to learning all I could about Nutrition and Fitness, which people started to notice and gravitate towards, because I was ‘nicer and leaner’, lol.
It wasn’t long after that where I started my business at 31.
Things seemed so much more than ok … for awhile.
Then at 34 and 35, I had 2 separate relationships end very abruptly, viciously even, and cause me just about the most pain I’d ever experienced.
Not more than losing my brother and cousin, but on that level.
I was so dejected because after all I’d already been through, how much more could I take?
Again, I went to therapy.
AND I also started looking into what was being dubbed “Mindset Coaching”.
Or I should say, it found me, by way of a Tony Robbins podcast with Tim Ferriss, which was amazing.
Then one day, magically* (facebook algorithm), Tony appeared in my Facebook feed with a video where he helped a young man with a life long stutter (speech impediment) correct it and speak normally in about 7 minutes.
7 f***ing minutes!!!
It was the first time I had evidence to support a new belief: Change didn’t have to take years of dragging out all my skeletons, turning them upside down and airing them out.
Of course that helped, but it wasn’t all that helped.
So, after researching it, I joined Tony Robbins Life Coaching Certification Program.
It took 18 months more of Deep Work while going through the program and finally building the courage to finish the Coursework to become a Tony Robbins Certified Coach.
That was last March.
Countless hours.
And even adding to my knowledge, was working with a team of business coaches where one of the coaches, Justin, taught me about how the mind really works.
I shared this graphic recently, but it’s so important, I have to share it again and will continue until everyone I know understands that you have a choice.
You can change your state of mind, by making the decision to change your beliefs, and get the results you know deep down are congruent with who you truly are.
Here’s how the human mind works:
- Your beliefs dictate your thoughts (beliefs come from the meaning we give our experiences).
- Your thoughts produce a feeling (through chemical reactions in the body, based off that thought).
- Your feelings determine the action, or lack of action, that you’ll take.
- Those actions, or lack of, end with the results you get, or don’t get.
- The results reinforce your beliefs (Gives them evidence to back it up)
- And, the loop continues
This is what we CAN control right now.
Our response to what is actually happening.
When you know how the mind works, which you do now (see graphic), you regain control of your faculties.
Remember, this thing isn’t happening to you, it’s happening FOR you, and I can guarantee if you embrace that, even if you can’t see it now, things will be better for you when you go through the fire and forge yourself.
If you do that, you’ll get into that beautiful state which allows you to make sound decisions, and respond accordingly to your highest values, not emotionally driven ‘off the cuff’ reactions.
Again, that all sounds well and good, however, it isn’t easy to face yourself.
Recently, many people have asked me how they can get back to working out hard and lose the ‘Quarantine 15’.
I know damn well they ‘think’ those things alone, will get them the results that will make them happy.
They won’t.
And instead of me selling you a bunch of ‘magic programs and weight loss hacks’ (which don’t EVER work), I’d like to invite you to have a phone call with me, complimentary.
Not many people can sit in another persons fire with them, offer them buckets of water, and not get burned themselves.
Well, I’m here to tell you that not only can I, I’ve done it myself, and I’m here for you if you’re ready to stop suffering and start living beautifully through this pandemic, and beyond.
Simply reply with “I’m ready” and we’ll set up your call.
And if you’d be interested in a Mindset Challenge where we could all go deeper into this fire together (which makes it easier to get out), let me know that as well, because I may be working on something of the sort 😉
You’ve got this!
Be Well – John
Changing the way Life is done.
Mindset. Fitness. Nutrition.
P.S. Here are 4 more ways you can become happier and healthier:
1. At-Home Workout Program
We created a 3 tiered entry-level program for those who want/need to stay at home to workout, and you can access it for FREE.
There is NO EQUIPMENT needed, only an open mind and doing the work!
You can get it now: CLICK HERE
2. Online Coaching Program
We’ve created an Online Program to fit all budgets.
Everything from On-Demand Videos, to LIVE Streaming Classes, Accountability Coaching Calls and more!
If that sound interesting, you can find out all the details now: CLICK HERE
3. Join our BADASS Community on Facebook
We want to work with and be around as many BADASS people as possible. Folks who might forget how BADASS they are and just need the space to remember.
So, we started a FREE group on Facebook called BADASS, which is our own private community where we go deeper into what we do at Bair Knuckle Strength.
The truth is, it makes the world a happier, safer, more enjoyable place when you love your BADASS self.
If you’re ready to see what we do, just CLICK HERE!
4. Rise
Rise is the story of ‘never feeling powerful … to … never feeling powerless’. It’s about John Bair’s life, why he does what he does and how his suffering created happiness.
This handwritten book takes you through an intimate, yet, self-revealing journey, which allows you to implant yourself into the story, as it relates to your own, and reveal the steps you’ll need to take, in order to make change a successful reality.
Available in DIGITAL, AUDIO, BOOK