I was greeting one of my students before a session the other night and during the conversation I sensed he wasn’t necessarily ready to workout, and rather, had something on his mind that was bugging him.
I asked him how he was doing and he said something to the effect of: “I’m not unwell, I’m just not well … do you know what I mean?”
I knew exactly what he meant.
So, I kept asking questions because my intuition told me that he needed to do some heavy mental lifting this night, regain some clarity, and forgo the weights.
The fact that he kept talking, instead of getting ready for class, told me he was wanting to get this thing off his chest …
“You know John, yesterday I only ate a Pop-Tart in the morning then had coffee all day and nothing else – when I got home that night, I crushed this whole Chicken Pot-Pie and it made me feel like I’m just sabotaging my efforts … did eating the Pop-Tart f**k things up for me?“
On the surface, this looks like an innocent question.
Before we dig in, let’s get something straight …
There are no “bad foods” and technically, a person could get lean and ‘ripped’ by eating Pop Tarts IF the Pop Tarts fit into the macro nutrients a person would need to maintain their muscle mass while burning fat.
This person would also probably have a lot of inflammation, be always on the edge of sickness, and not be sound nutritionally, but hey. it could be done.
Now, when we unpacked my students thoughts a little, it wasn’t the Pop-Tart that was actually bugging him.
It was the fact that he had just turned 50 years old 3 days prior, and didn’t ever see himself surviving to be 50.
Think about that for a second…or have you been there?
After more question probing I found out most of his family are addicts/alcoholics, and from the age of 16 – 27 my student was an alcoholic and junkie (his words).
Now, 23 years sober, with no kids and no wife, the reality of being 50 when he’s never been 50 before, combined with the fact that he didn’t believe he would be alive at age 50, is enough to make it seem like, on the surface, eating a pop-Tart can f**k things up and ‘break the camels back’.
In reality, the Pop-Tart story was ‘low-level’ sharing, in an attempt to see if I really cared.
Nobody is going to share their gooey, innermost pain which makes us feel small, weak and broken, unless we’re in a space where we know we’re cared for…period.
If I didn’t care about him as a human first and not a paycheck, when he shared that story he would’ve picked up on the fact that I wasn’t ‘hearing him’, and probably would have just gone through the motions in class.
He didn’t need to mindlessly workout that night, and he had a coach who picked up on that.
He needed someone to listen and even said after class: “I can’t believe we just talked for an hour, but I’m glad we did because I think I needed this more than just throwing some weights around”.
That happens to A LOT of people.
They have something on their mind and haven’t learned that talking it out will lead to them working it out.
Instead, they usually end up on a treadmill or weight machine, tired, alone, and maybe even get hurt from an overuse injury … instead of learning how to lean into the mental pain and unpack it first.
Once you’ve unloaded the heavy mental burden, then you have access to all the energy you’ll need to actually go lift heavy weights physically.
And that’s a BIG difference between what we do here, and what most other fitness places do …
By virtue of creating space for my student he felt heard (not common for men) and then actually shared the underlying issue which was REALLY bugging him – which is that he’s afraid of his future because he didn’t know he’d have one, and now it’s here.
Now that he knows what’s really underneath ‘not feeling well’, he can direct his energy toward building a compelling future in and out of the gym, instead of worrying about Pop-Tarts sabotaging his fitness success. 😉
If you’re finding yourself ‘stuck’, having a coach who cares enough to challenge your thinking can assist you in uncovering the clarity you need to stop sabotaging yourself, and go ‘be the change’ in the world.
Sometimes we need to work out the mind, before we can work out the body, and we here are qualified to assist you with all facets of your Mindset, Fitness and Nutrition!
If you’re interested in a Complimentary Coaching Call, reply with “Clarity” in the comments, and tell me your ‘Pop-Tart’ story. 🙂
Be Well – John
Changing the way Life is done.
Mindset. Fitness. Nutrition.
P.S. Here are 4 more ways you can become happier and healthier:
1. At-Home Workout Program
We created a 3 tiered entry-level program for those who want/need to stay at home to workout, and you can access it for FREE.
There is NO EQUIPMENT needed, only an open mind and doing the work!
You can get it now: CLICK HERE
2. Online Coaching Program
We’ve created an Online Program to fit all budgets.
Everything from On-Demand Videos, to LIVE Streaming Classes, Accountability Coaching Calls and more!
If that sound interesting, you can find out all the details now: CLICK HERE
3. Join our BADASS Community on Facebook
We want to work with and be around as many BADASS people as possible. Folks who might forget how BADASS they are and just need the space to remember.
So, we started a FREE group on Facebook called BADASS, which is our own private community where we go deeper into what we do at Bair Knuckle Strength.
The truth is, it makes the world a happier, safer, more enjoyable place when you love your BADASS self.
If you’re ready to see what we do, just CLICK HERE!
4. Rise
Rise is the story of ‘never feeling powerful … to … never feeling powerless’. It’s about John Bair’s life, why he does what he does and how his suffering created happiness.
This handwritten book takes you through an intimate, yet, self-revealing journey, which allows you to implant yourself into the story, as it relates to your own, and reveal the steps you’ll need to take, in order to make change a successful reality.
Available in DIGITAL, AUDIO, BOOK