The first half of the year is gone, and I’m sure we all have our opinions about it, however, that’s for another day.
Today, I want to dive into the deep end again and share responses and insights that were sent my way about last weeks post about fears.
If you didn’t read it, go on back, because it will give you context.
Overall, the responses were great, meaning, I didn’t receive reactions, and I appreciate that – well behaved!
One reader said “I like that you’re asking your readers harder questions that possibly make it uncomfortable. Growth doesn’t happen in comfort!”
Another reader told me she wasn’t so worried about herself necessarily getting sick, except that her husband is deployed in the service, and she is home taking care of their young child, and worries about not being able to take care of him, so she is taking all precautions necessary, without being paralyzed by fear – totally understood!
Many others ‘basically’ said it was “Media Sensationalism” that is the cause of all the fear, to which I disagree, because watching and listening to the media is a choice.
Which means the media is not responsible for spreading fear (they’re just doing what they do), rather, it’s the way people think that allows their fears to be the driver, instead of the passenger.
I had some folks in their 60’s and 70’s chime in and say they really understood where I was coming from, and appreciated that I was willing to take a hard look at these things.
All of the aforementioned ‘senior readers’ also ALL said, that they KNOW that Health is a PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, and are willing to do the work to mitigate their risk.
I also had a couple folks ‘challenge’ my thoughts, for lack of a better word, with one person saying I was bordering on being an asshole, and another who thought maybe I was putting them in the ‘chicken liver’ category because they have some fears.
The best part is, after talking to me, because they were open and didn’t just react and run, the person who thought I was bordering on asshole, turns out, we both want the same thing.
We talked it out and agreed that what they want, was what I want, and our relationship got even better, more deeply connected, because I heard their point of view, as much as they listened to mine.
Again, in last weeks newsletter I asked “Are you afraid of getting Covid-19, and if so, why?”
I shared that I am not afraid.
To which one reader asked me a tough question, after thinking about the email, and said: “John, how would you react if you tested positive?”
I loved the question and responded with: “If I tested positive, I would react by getting right to work on recovery. Staying away from people, sleeping, improving my immunity and everything I could to mitigate the onslaught. I wouldn’t spend time being pissed off or upset, that’s for sure.”
This is the way forward folks – having tough conversations and listening MORE than speaking, even if at first we differ, to find the common ground or ‘middle way’.
Now, I’m well aware that some of the responses, like perhaps my reader who thought they were a ‘chicken liver’, are based on the lens of the individual and any sub-conscious, self-limiting beliefs that they have.
People’s reactions are usually about themselves, and what they ‘actually’ believe deep down, which can make people ‘feel some kind of way’.
That’s not putting anyone down, or ‘trying’ to stir the pot to piss someone off.
It’s how the human operating system works:
- Your beliefs dictate your thoughts (beliefs come from the meaning we give our experiences).
- Your thoughts produce a feeling (through chemical reactions in the body, based off that thought).
- Your feelings determine the action, or lack of action, that you’ll take.
- Those actions, or lack of, end with the results you get, or don’t get.
- The Results reinforce your beliefs (Gives them evidence to back it up)
- And, round and round we go
However, this is not a psychology session or Life Coaching lesson, so let’s get to the point here.
The ones that hit closest to home for me, were those who are afraid of not being there for loved ones, because I know that feeling, and not living up to their highest purpose in life, because that scares me.
I know if I work to be my best, everyone in my life will benefit from me being happier, stronger and healthier.
My older readers shed light on some of the ailments they live with, and that for them, they’re at a higher risk for anything, let alone this virus, and if their parents are still around, it’s even worse for them.
All these are very real, very valid points, and I get it, I do.
Still not afraid.
And now some context.
By any measure, I do not PREFER to get this virus … for many of the above reasons.
But living in fear?
Nada.
Concerned?
Hell Yes!
Cautious?
Absolutely.
Here’s why…
I believe that life happens for us, not to us, and we GET to live, we don’t have to live.
While things in life occur that I don’t like, or prefer, I do believe that they are the obstacles that make me (us) stronger and better humans, which is a great thing.
For me, that includes: physical abuse as a kid, my parents getting divorced when I was 8, being diagnosed with severe depression at 8, losing my brother to suicide and cousin to muscular dystrophy within 1 year of each other, helping my mom through heart and bowel surgery, starting a business in the health field when we’re the sickest ever … you get the idea, I’ve been through a lot of “crap”.
And adding a positive Covid-19 test to that, would suck donkey nuts.
No delusions of being some superhuman wunderkid here, just a regular person too, very able to get sick.
I’d have to ‘accept’ that it was happening for me, like death, and I’m good with that.
Here’s a practical example …
Let’s say I got Covid-19, like really bad.
It would most certainly affect my business and livelihood.
And even though ‘in the moment’ it would suck (see: donkey nuts) I know it would also be pulling me towards something greater, even if it meant me ‘losing my business’ and starting all over.
During my morning meditations, I work to visualize and imagine my highest purpose, the thing I’m put here to do.
Negative thoughts can only take over if I allow that to happen, and by sitting with my thoughts every day, and working through the friction, I’ve come to believe, and KNOW wholeheartedly, that I can expect the ‘right things to happen’ and that everything I need and want in life is working to find me too.
That means I don’t have to ‘react’ with fear, worry or doubt, and there is no need to complain, criticize or compare.
This will pass at some point (see: losing brother and cousin), because the situation is in the process of improving and correcting itself to work for me.
So, I can decide which actions I want to take, based off the belief I know is true for me, and if I need new belief, I just have to decide on it, and my human operating system (see: graphic above) will do the rest.
Am I always in such a conscious, beautiful state of mind?
F**k NO…I’m human too!
The best I can do is make a decision to remind myself everyday of how I want to live, and why I believe I’m here, which gets the brain moving in the direction of my choice.
So, no, I’m not afraid.
And I’m not looking to invite it into my life either, because, unfortunately, we also live with a bunch of really dumb creatures (see: other humans) and being ignorant to Covid-19 doesn’t give you rein to do dumb shit, like expose other people, or not follow the best laid approach by an accepted expert consensus.
I always thought a back flip off a high dive would be awesome, however, I’m not trained (see: Coached, like what we do here) for it, as I’d likely end up very hurt, or worse, and so, even though the universe has my back, I’m not looking to break it in the pool on some ‘dumb shit’.
However, if you asked me to come to your pool, with a not high dive (my level), I’d probably say yes, knowing I could still get hurt, but accepting that it happened for me (not easy).
I opened up here, in an attempt to really clarify and give more context, so, does it make sense?
I don’t want this thing, and if I got it while being (what I deem) safe for me, so be it.
Totally. Not. Afraid.
I hope you got something useful out of my ramblings here, and THANK YOU for all the responses and insights. 🙂
Be Well – John
Changing the way Life is done.
Mindset. Fitness. Nutrition.
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